dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
