his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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