Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
