ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
