dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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