I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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