We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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