I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
