This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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