I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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