She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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