I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
