He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
