I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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