Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
are you so shy because you have an std?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
