I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
