Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
