i just google imaged poop.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
