im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
