This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
