covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
