Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
