love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
