Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
