the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
