i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
