How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
