This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
