i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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