i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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