Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
