thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
