if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Everything about him screamed your future.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
