A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
