im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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