Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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