So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
