were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
