why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
