so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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