Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He had one of those small greek statue penises
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
