You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
