Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
