I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
