Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Your cock deserves a montage
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
