There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dear god my vagina.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
