Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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