we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
