I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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