We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
