i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
